She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
