did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
