i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
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