is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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