yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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