This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
