i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
