actually, I'm a sock model
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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