Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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