you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
