a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
