i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's just like the Real World with babies
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
