When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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