She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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