i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
People in love make me want to vomit
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
