it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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