He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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