There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
