I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize