I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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