Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
