I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
