We won't sleep together?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
