How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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