Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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