Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
