We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
