Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
