were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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