OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
soo... how was my night?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
