just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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