he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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