Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
