they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize