The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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