Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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