From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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