Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
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