I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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