This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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