his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
