Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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