I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
