i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
