I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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