i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
