I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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