Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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