Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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