We won't sleep together?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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