Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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