**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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