Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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