Tell her she can't have a vagina
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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