I cockslap morals
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
