Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
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This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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