While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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