i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
