Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
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My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
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I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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