This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
