in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my being single is dangerous.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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