apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
