ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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