should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
