Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
