Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize